Mothers are not allowed to be sick. This is a universal law not created by me, but widely known and accepted as fact. However, there comes a time for every mother when at some point she can deny the sickness no longer. A mother will keep on keepin’ on until she just literally keels over–which happened to me this week.
On Monday I was in the carpool line waiting for my youngest to take him to gymnastics. And that’s when the unspeakable happened–I had an “upset stomach”, and in the worst possible way imaginable. I had to just squeeze those cheeks together until I could make it into the ice cream shop and “freshen up”. You may ask yourself now, why didn’t she just go home? You aren’t asking yourself that if you are a mom–you know the answer–the “show” that is our children’s lives must go on.
But the next morning, I just couldn’t go on any longer. I couldn’t get out of bed. I was feeling so badly that I actually, wait for it, took myself to the doctor. And the whole way there, and the whole time I was sitting in the waiting room I felt silly. I kept telling myself, “You’re not really sick, you are imagining this whole thing. What’s wrong with you? Suck it up and get back in the hamster wheel, you crazy bitch.” The bitch just didn’t listen. I went into the doctor’s office, and even though I didn’t have a sore throat, they took a culture anyway. It came back positive for strep. And do you know why I didn’t have a sore throat? Because I have had strep so long I am beyond that onto sheer exhaustion.
So here is the lesson to be learned: if I had taken care of myself in the beginning, or “put the life mask on myself first”, I would not be here, in bed, on Day 3 of the Z pack feeling sorry for myself. But here is the deal, I understand the concept of putting my life mask on first, but I just can’t make myself actually do it. Am I alone in this?