Tag Archives: @RHOBH

Real Housewives of Where???

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Dear Bravo,

I would like to be compensated for the dozens (if not hundreds) of hours I have spent watching the Real Housewives of Wherever.  I have no defense for watching;  obviously I am a voyeur, a girly girl and I’m secretly in love with Andy Cohen.  Now that WWHL is on, who needs the reunion shows to get a glimpse of the person I WISH was my gbf.  Sadly, today I am sick in bed, and watching the first episode of the RHOBH reunion.  

I really don’t even know where to start, so I’ll start here.  Embarrassingly, I know every detail these women are bitching about.  I even have opinions and have taken sides in their disagreements, and I even feel strongly about some of those opinions.  For example, Brandi should not be on the show.  She should be on the Real Housewives of Compton.  If you have no life and cannot stop being distracted by all things media, you will think that is hilarious.  Otherwise, just keep reading.

My feeling at this point is–we have all seen enough of the fake, staged, drunk, goaded, destructive rhinestone parade that is the entire Real Housewives brand.  These women have lost all sense of decorum, while wearing $50K in clothes and jewels, with a team of stylists, hairdressers and makeup artists at their beck and call.  If you look at older photos of these girls, they vaguely resemble their former selves–inside and out.

What I would really like to see are women and families having REAL issues, conflict and actually working that conflict out in an honest, mature and healthy way.  I watched a bit of an obscure movie on HBO this weekend, “Cinema Verite”, with Tim Robbins, Diane Lane and the guy from the Sopranos.  It was a film about the first “reality TV” franchise, the Loud family.  The show destroyed their lives for a time, but the family survived (not intact) and went on to different trajectories than they most likely would have gone on before.  But the Loud family attempted to show a real family, albeit a bourgeois family from Santa Barbara.  These shows are not about reality.  No one has class; I am constantly amazed by the lengths these people will go to to be “right”.  In “real life”, I cannot imagine that these people would speak to each other the way they speak to each other on camera–except Brandi, of course, who has publicly shown her baboon bootie via Twitter and Facebook in her rants against her ex-husband Eddie whats-his-face and his now wife, Leann Rimes.

Here’s what I would REALLY like to see–families with teenagers and younger kids, maneuvering their ways through the sea of Booster Clubs, sports, friends, work–simply, life.  Trust me, there is enough drama in REAL life, I can promise you.  My family would not need to be goaded, scripted or encouraged.  BUT we would, and do, treat each other with kindness, respect and love.  Which is more than I can say for the “Real” Housewives.

So there. Now ask yourself, am I still going to watch these shows? We’ll see.

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